Saturday, October 15, 2011
My First Spankings
I did good on Wednesday and got everything done except for being up on time. I have a bad problem with sleeping in or lounging around in my nightgown, so the first to rules are that I have to be up by 8 and showered/dressed by 9, with an additional swat for each 10 minutes late on either. He did spank me on Thursday night, more as a learning experience than anything else. I got 16 swats with various implements - a hairbrush, wooden spoon, belt, wooden spatula/turner, and his hand. I was nervous and had a lot of anticipation leading up to it. When it was time for the actual spanking, I was wondering why on earth I brought it up again and agreed to it this time around. For the most part, it wasn't that bad, although a few hurt pretty badly, and the spoon seriously hurt. He asked later on how it felt and all and I made the mistake of telling him that it wasn't all that bad and not that hard, but the spoon really hurt. He told me he was trying to be gentle, and I told him that he didn't need to because I really needed the ones for punishment to be hurty enough to make me not want a repeat (yeah, me and my big mouth).
Friday, I was just dragging. I had a bunch of other stuff to do and wasted too much time online, so I didn't get a lot of the housework done. Anyway, it ended up adding up to 34 swats. Not too bad, except that I had told him the night before that punishment needed to feel like it, and he reminded me of that beforehand. That made me a little worried but, hey, we agreed. He used the wooden spoon, which was already the stingiest, and by about number 4 I was really wondering what had gotten into my head to make me consent to this. It was all I could do to hold still and be quiet so I didn't wake our son up or get the dogs to barking. By the end, I was definitely more contrite.
The one thing I've noticed, especially Friday night, as how much closer I feel to Bill. It's like this has changed the dynamic of our relationship even more and made me more submissive. I have been working on obeying and submitting to him for a while now, because of the biblical teaching on marriage and the importance of wifely submission and the husband as head of the household, but this just touches me somewhere inside and has given me a greater desire to please and honor and obey him. It is also teaching me to trust him more, because I have to give up more control in our relationship and fully trust that he will be fair and not harm me, and that is something that just feels good to be able to do, but which I tend to fight in our day-to-day life.
I have also noticed he seems to be more tender to me and attentive to my needs in our daily life, maybe because he does feel more free to tell me what he wants and needs me to do and knows I will listen to him instead of ignoring it like before. I had a 5k race this morning, so he told me to focus on that today and not worry about the chores, just to rest and recover. We spent most of the day snuggled up on the couch together watching movies, which we hadn't done in a long time, and he kept hugging me, rubbing my shoulders, and telling me how much he loves and appreciates me.