Saturday, October 15, 2011

My First Spankings

The last few days have been pretty interesting. Bill and I had discussed what I need to get done each day and what the punishments for each thing left undone would be, so I knew what to expect. I did try my best to get everything accomplished, but we set the rules and expectations a little high for a reason, because they are a goal to work toward and are based on what I should be getting done but have been letting slide pretty regularly.

I did good on Wednesday and got everything done except for being up on time. I have a bad problem with sleeping in or lounging around in my nightgown, so the first to rules are that I have to be up by 8 and showered/dressed by 9, with an additional swat for each 10 minutes late on either. He did spank me on Thursday night, more as a learning experience than anything else. I got 16 swats with various implements - a hairbrush, wooden spoon, belt, wooden spatula/turner, and his hand. I was nervous and had a lot of anticipation leading up to it. When it was time for the actual spanking, I was wondering why on earth I brought it up again and agreed to it this time around. For the most part, it wasn't that bad, although a few hurt pretty badly, and the spoon seriously hurt. He asked later on how it felt and all and I made the mistake of telling him that it wasn't all that bad and not that hard, but the spoon really hurt. He told me he was trying to be gentle, and I told him that he didn't need to because I really needed the ones for punishment to be hurty enough to make me not want a repeat (yeah, me and my big mouth).

Friday, I was just dragging. I had a bunch of other stuff to do and wasted too much time online, so I didn't get a lot of the housework done. Anyway, it ended up adding up to 34 swats. Not too bad, except that I had told him the night before that punishment needed to feel like it, and he reminded me of that beforehand. That made me a little worried but, hey, we agreed. He used the wooden spoon, which was already the stingiest, and by about number 4 I was really wondering what had gotten into my head to make me consent to this. It was all I could do to hold still and be quiet so I didn't wake our son up or get the dogs to barking. By the end, I was definitely more contrite.

The one thing I've noticed, especially Friday night, as how much closer I feel to Bill. It's like this has changed the dynamic of our relationship even more and made me more submissive. I have been working on obeying and submitting to him for a while now, because of the biblical teaching on marriage and the importance of wifely submission and the husband as head of the household, but this just touches me somewhere inside and has given me a greater desire to please and honor and obey him. It is also teaching me to trust him more, because I have to give up more control in our relationship and fully trust that he will be fair and not harm me, and that is something that just feels good to be able to do, but which I tend to fight in our day-to-day life.

I have also noticed he seems to be more tender to me and attentive to my needs in our daily life, maybe because he does feel more free to tell me what he wants and needs me to do and knows I will listen to him instead of ignoring it like before. I had a 5k race this morning, so he told me to focus on that today and not worry about the chores, just to rest and recover. We spent most of the day snuggled up on the couch together watching movies, which we hadn't done in a long time, and he kept hugging me, rubbing my shoulders, and telling me how much he loves and appreciates me.

20 comments:

  1. I totally get what you are saying.. there is nothing like being submissive to your man! There is nothing like the closeness after a spanking... I'll find out more about that tonight I'm afraid!

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  2. I agree there is nothing like the close connected feeling that a spanking lends.

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  3. How nice he has been more attentive to your needs as you submit to him.

    FD

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  4. Hello

    I have just read this lovely post. I am rather new to this lifestyle, having recently got married. I am learning all the time but I struggle with his authority at times and his rules.

    My hubby is very strict on areas of appearance, clothing and behaviour. Before I started dating him I was a bit of a tomboy, now I live in skirts and dresses!

    Its great to read and share thoughts with other people. Love Kate.

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  5. Just happen to read this entry and because I can relate, wanted to comment! The feeling of closeness and security that comes from this lifestyle is unbelievable to me. The further into it we get the more we both seem to be aware and attentive to each other. I am so happy for you both that you too are experiencing these feelings! Seems like the more days go by in this lifestyle, the more in love we fall!

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  6. nice to meet you! I just found your blog!

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  7. How do you control the urge to not hit him back? I would hit my husband right back if he ever tried this crap on me!

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  8. I'm so glad I came across your blog. I love it. It's so cute! But I love the articles as well. I saw that you are a member of LDD, Have we chatted?

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  9. I might want to get away, but I certainly don't want to hit him. Even an attempes strike towards him would mean serious problems. But I really don't feel that sort of desire. I have agreed to be respectful, and if I am not, I have agreed to be punished with a spanking that hurts. I am always asked if there is any reason he shouldn't spank me, and the answer is always No. I know he doesn't like seeing me in pain, but we agreed to do this, and he has to fulfill his responsibility and I have to submit to the spanking. So he spanks me even though that makes him a little uncomfortable and I get spanked, which is very uncomfortable. Afterwards, we feel closer than ever. I feel like he is truly my man and I am his woman. He comforts me and we snuggle while I recover. And then...

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    1. It's the Lord's job to discipline you & your husband - you are His children. When you were a child you needed spankings, but now that you are an adult you put childish ways behind you. When the Lord disciplines me it's gentle and kind even when He is saying something difficult to hear. The Lord has never sat me down and given me a list of all the things wrong with me, all the ways I'm falling short, and said "now work harder and fix all this stuff that's wrong with you". That's just too overwhelming, and makes us feel like crap. He tends to overwhelm me with His great love for me instead, and tells me how much He loves me - right now - in the midst of all my failings and weaknesses. Then He tells me He will give me strength to accomplish the tasks He has assigned for me, and that He'll be with me through it all. That the same love He loved Jesus with, He loves me that way too. It's knowing His great love for me that makes it a joy to serve Him...and then I can serve others like my husband and children as though I am serving the Lord. It makes me sad to think of your hubby spanking you - please please just ask the Lord to confirm in your heart what His will is regarding this issue. I'm afraid you both have come under a heavy burden, that you really have no need to bear - because it is the Lord's job to discipline his children.

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    2. To Godislove and Jenny:Godislove is absolutely right. This is a heavy burden for you and your husband both. Your husband has a right to a partner - remember Eve was taken from Adam's side, not his foot. You are charged with the care of your child for many long periods every day when your husband is out, and the child needs two competent adults that can make some decisions, depending on their spheres of life. One adult should not be forced to do all the thinking for both of you.

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  10. "He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west so far has He removed our transgressions from us. As a Father has compassion on his children so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him, for He knows how we are formed, He remembers that we are dust." ps 103:10-14

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  11. What a lovely story this is the reason I asked my bf to start a dd relationship with me, i want the closeness you described in the end. I have yet to recieve my first spanking because he has been out of town but i will next week and am very nervous. Your story calmed some of the nerves thank you

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  12. I have a question.... WHAT ABOUT THE HUSBAND?
    Who spanks the husband when he does something wrong? This is a serious question by the way! It just seems quite hypocritical that some men hit their woman for not doing things such as house chores... when they are far from perfect themselves.
    I'm not saying this lifestyle is wrong or anything but... this is just one thing that always bugs me.

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    1. I can't say for others, but it wouldn't make sense in our relationship. I wanted this so it's not something he forced on me, but we respond differently. I might be upset by the idea of a spanking sometimes, but ultimately I usually feel better after and even tears come as a release. For him, it would make him angry and humiliated and make things worse. We have very different natures and I just couldn't imagine ever spanking him or him ever allowing hisself to be spanked.

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  13. The types of dependent, submissive, domineering & controlling behaviors people in DD relationships experience are all in alignment with varying psychological disorders. The deep feelings of closeness you experience after being beaten (and make no mistake, just b/c it's on your backside, doesn't mean it's not a beating) are the exact same feelings that captives feel toward their kidnappers & abused people feel toward their abusers. Many people experience closeness & deep bonds of love in their marriages while maintaining their personal identities & their own measures of accountability. Believing you deserve to be beaten, even consensually, because you failed to get up early or complete a list of to-do's is not a spiritually bonding force of heavenly blessings on your marriage. It's a textbook, old as the hills psychological syndrome that oppressors use to gain control of their subjects. I have no doubt that you truly believe that this type of violence is "good" for you. But have the good graces to at least be honest about WHAT this is. People in DD relationships have deep psychological issues & are incapable of real maturity & accountability. Which would be fine if most of you weren't raising children to be just as mentally fucked up as you are.

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  14. I love my wife, one of the ways to show that love is to apply correction when needed. Last week I asked her to take my truck in for servicing while I was at work. This week i recieved an email from the dealer that my warranty was in jeopardy since the truck hadn'tbeen serviced.. This was a big deal. It could have cost us a lot of money. Her punishment had to be very severe and very humiliating. Tonite I invited my brother and his wife over for supper.My wife cooked and served the meal entirely in the nude. She was not allowed to sit at the table but had to eat standing up. After supper she cleaned up the kitchen and got her punishment. She got a very hard spanking.

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  15. Hi,
    I am just looking for a place to unload a little. My husband spanks me. It is a secret and I feel I can not discuss it with anyone for fear of someone reporting it to someone. But at the same time I really wish I could just sit down with a girl friend and talk about it. I have now looked a fair bit on the internet and I do not seem to fit exactly into any mould. I read about women who feel abused and that is not me yet from the outside that could be the way someone would observe it. I read about women who get sexually aroused and it seems most of the porn for men is like this. That's not me either. I do not get aroused by it. He does not spank me for disobedience. Its not like he sets out a list of tasks or anything.

    He spanks me because it turns him on. I let him. To demonstrate my submission.

    I related to some of your words about feeling more submissive. Closer. Intimate. That sort of thing. It is to me anyway intensely personal.

    Other people can hug me, hold my hand or a friend can kiss me. But for no one else do I lie there passively normally nude or skimpily dressed while I am spanked.

    When I know he is going to do it, I am scared. It is painful. Yet I do it. While he is doing it I am desperately wishing it to end. I go from a gasp to biting the pillow to stop from crying out from the pain to a point where I guess I have just given myself over. When it is done and he holds me in his arms I just float. I feel so loved. So protected.

    Pretty weird hey. You can see why I do not tell anyone.

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  16. When my wife is not being the woman I want....her ass is nice and pink in 30 minutes.......I prefer to discipline her with a riding crop...start her out slowly...then work her into a froth...but..I have found that she is a much better person after I put big Butt Plug in her first...then give her the crop...she squirms when I put it in..it is only 7" long though with a 5" girth....if she cries out...she gets 2 hard strokes of the crop...that quiets her down...

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